It’s day 30 of the blog every day in May challenge! Only one more day to go! The prompt today is: React to this term: Letting Go.

When I hear the phrase letting go I immediately think of change and I’ve never been particularly good with change. I think of regret, sadness, nostalgia, resistance, anger. For me letting go doesn’t conjure up any happy thoughts. I don’t think of a release, of the future, of happiness. I wish I were more that way but I’m not.

Outwardly it may seem that I’ve gotten better at letting go but I’ve just gotten better at hiding my outward emotions and tucking them away. It makes it easier initially but it eventually comes up later and all those sad thoughts comes flooding up.

Letting go is something I’m constantly dealing with. I even project it into my future. Thinking of things and events that will come up that I won’t want to let go of. I get sad for things that haven’t even happened. I get sad watching other people having to let go.

I know letting go can be such a positive force and I can’t wait for the day I agree but for now letting go for me is sad.