It’s day 12 in the blog every day challenge. Today the question is: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life…)
I’ll be the first to tell you that I live so much in the past. I’m resistant to change and the future scares me. So what do I miss? I think it’s pretty clear. Basically any good moments in my life that have passed. I wish I wasn’t so sentimental and that I good appreciate a good moment and then move on, mmm but I can’t.
If you wanted me to be even more specific I could tell you that I miss the time in my life when I wasn’t worried about big decisions for my big girl life. You know like am I ready for marriage, am I ready to have kids, to start my life according to societal norms. I miss the days when I was just deciding what weekend I would drive to visit friends or go camping. In lots of ways I don’t feel like I’ve changed much from that girl and maybe that’s why it seems sad. So much more time has passed than it seems, but in my mind where all my memories live I’m still that young girl.
It’s day 10 of the blog every day in May challenge. Today I’m spilling my most embarrassing moment (s).
Oh gosh I’m sure we all have countless embarrassing moments and I am willing to share 3 of my more vivid memories. Here we go…
Embarrassing moment #1:
-When I was young, maybe around 7 or 8, my family and I went to a place called GreenfieldVillage in Michigan. I may have mentioned this place before on the blog. Anyhow it’s an outdoor museum masterminded by Henry Ford and it’s pretty awesome. We visited in the spring and if you’re from a place where it snows you know that when it melts things can get muddy. I was off ahead of the group when I saw some older kids (they were super cool in my eyes of course) easily take a shortcut over a mud puddle. I followed because, duh, I could do anything older kids could do. I went to jump but my silly short legs failed me and my front leg went right into the mud and then my back leg joined to try and get me out. I eventually had to be helped out by my dad and I was covered in mud from the knees down.
I was furious and embarrassed and my family had a hard time holding back their laughter. I found absolutely nothing funny about it. To make matters worse we continued to walk around. I felt like such a fool and I just wanted to disappear or at the very least leave the dang place. I remember before we left I had to suffer one more indignity. My family went into the gift shop and since I was covered in mud I refused to go in, instead I stood behind a bench and tried to blend in with the building behind me. I’m pretty sure it didn’t work I felt like everyone was staring at me. Ugh. FINALLY we left and I didn’t have to endure my embarrassment any longer. Also my dad bought me a book from the gift shop but being the stubborn child I was (um still am) I couldn’t appreciate it until later.
Embarrassing moment #2:
When I was a senior in high school there was a class called senior project and we had to get into small groups, research a topic for half of the school year, and then put on a unique 20 minute presentation. My group chose Elvis (because I was obsessed) and our presentation was kind of awesome. We even painted ourselves in black and white to look like we were on tv in the 50’s. Anyhow there was this one point in our presentation that didn’t flow well and I was standing there needing to remember my next line and couldn’t. And then I was up and stepped up to talk and froze, my mind went blank, shoot! I remember my vision narrowed and the room went quiet and time seemed to s…l…o…w way down. Finally my line entered my mind and things went on as planned. It felt like longer but it was only maybe 20 seconds (but 20 seconds does actually seem like a long time when people are waiting for you to talk). I just felt super lame and like a whole auditorium of my peers, classmates, teachers, and parents all saw it. Oy! Oh yeah I’m totally over it, not! I still think about it and try to change the outcome in my mind.
Embarrassing moment #3:
So this one would be even more embarrassing but luckily no one was around to witness it and therefore is just a pretty funny story. It was when I lived in the dorms at college and I was walking upstairs to my room when I tripped on the stair (going up) and somehow in my attempt to catch my fall stepped on my own hand. Who does that?! I looked around quickly to see if anyhow saw and when I realized I was alone I breathed a sigh of relief and then laughed because seriously it was ridiculous.
It’s day 4 of the blog every day in May challenge. The topic today is your favorite quote from a person or book and why you love it.
I guess I’m not really one to collect favorite quotes because when I read the prompt for today I was blank. I don’t have one off the top of my head. The only one I can think of that I have a connection to is perhaps a bit cliche but for the sake of sharing I’ll let you in on it.
The quote is this: “Not all those who wander are lost.” J.R.R Tolkien and this is why it means something to me.
Perhaps a quick back story first. By the time I was 15 my parents were divorced and my sister, brother and I would spend the summers with my mom. Also the summer camp my dad started when I was little ended when I was 9. The summer I was 15 my dad was leading his second summer of an educational summer camp run through the local community college. It was the summer I needed to take driver’s education so I was staying with my dad for a few weeks.
It was also the summer I was doing some real soul searching and trying to decide what was really important to me. I started dressing more rugged or outdoorsy if you will. I let my hair go natural and stopped wearing makeup. I also stopped shaving my legs. I had decided all of these things were distracting me from what was really important in my life and what I should be focused on. At that time I think it was feeling the connection to nature and how alive it made me feel.
Anyhow it was during this time I was taking a walk through the woods at night in the total darkness with a couple of the counselors. We were letting our eyes adjust to the darkness and using our senses to find our way back. One of them asked me if I was still not shaving my legs, I replied yes, and he shared this quote with me. At the time I interpreted it as me deviating from what was expected and trying to find my own way and that it was alright to be different. At that age when things can be so awkward and you just want to fit in it was good to hear. Over the years I may not have remembered the story quite right but I remember the feeling and that is what has stuck.
